Vent type thing

Okay, so users who know me are very aware of how sporadic my time here is. And when I do come on, I mostly just hang around on chat and post a few comments. I brush it off when asked, giving vague stories of real life problems. I have not been lying. These stories are true, but only partially. Thge truth is, I've been feeling rather disconnected from the wiki, and being here hurts me. Other users go around sharing in jokes and pms, and I am not a part of them. My OCs and fanfics, when I publish them at all, tend to be ignored, regardless of how much time and effort I put into them. Users who have been here for half my time rack up more edits, badges, and sections on their message walls than I. This is not meant to point fingers, to blame others for excluding me. The fault is my own. I've been too afraid of rejection to scoialize enough. And now the consequences are catching up to me. I'm very sorry for thrusting this on you all. I seem to have a reputation for being quite cheerful, but even I have my limits. I'm too attached to this place to ever leave, but it's getting more and more painful to stay.