Sorry, but this is a random idea I had while working one, fine day.

Chuck Norris Doesn't Need a Proper Title

Chuck Norris knew he shouldn't be here.  One moment he was having a nice, relaxing, cold beer on the porch of his house in Texas. He then finished the beer and went to the fridge to get another one. But, when he closed the door to his house he suddenly realized that he was in a desert on an alien planet.

How did he know it was an alien planet? Simple, he has memorized all of Earth's deserts. He knew where every grain of sand on Earth is. And none of those grains of sand were beneath his feet.

“Damn,” Chuck Norris stated with utmost foul-mouthiness. He cracked open his beer, drank a bit of it, then began walking.

Four hours later, Chuck Norris found, what appeared to be, a dragon. The over-grown lizard looked like it has just laid an egg. Chuck Norris decided to blame it for his untimely appearance into her world. Chuck Norris strode boldly up to the dragon, and said,

“Hey, you dragon!” The dragon seemed to understand what the Texan was saying, because the next thing Chuck Norris knew was that the dragon was staring right at him with solid black eyes and pale-yellow scales, shimmering in the unforgiving sun of the SandWing Desert.  

“What is it you want, Scavenger?”

“I want you to get off of my new home.”

“Who are you to challenge me, the great Queen Oasis?”

“I, Chuck Norris, do, you self-sucking, over-grown, mutant lizard.”

“Why you ever-!”

“That's right, fear me, for I am the aspect of everything that is awesome.”

“Well-” Oasis began, but decided to breath fire on this 'Chuck Norris.' But, when she did, and she did not miss, Chuck Norris did not look like he has even been singed.

“My turn,” Chuck Norris stated. He then lifted his 'chin,' aimed his 'chin,' then punched Oasis in the snout with his third fist (guess the reference XD). Oasis stumbled back, dazed, restored her balance, then swiped a claw at Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris jumped out of the way, then round-housed Oasis all the way back to Texas.  

Yes, the Texas on Earth.

Not Pyrrhia.


Chuck Norris then built a spaceship and flew it all the way back to Earth and landed in Texas next to Oasis. After grabbing another beer, he was happy.