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A Royal Screwup

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  • By Tundra
  • By Tundra

Matau decided something when he wrote A Royal Wedding.

He decided it was going to be a one-shot, that he wouldn't write a sequel.

But he didn't get to decide.

In the end, his fans did.

Then he got an idea.

Why not write it from Whirlpool's point of view?

So he did.

Summary

Whirlpool has to marry someone, and naturally he supports this. It's Tsunami. He doesn't support that.

Chapter Only

It dawned a blindingly sunny day in the newly-rebuilt Summer Palace, several years after the war. Dragons were wasting time, socializing, and/or living falsely happy lives. Queen Coral rested in her palace, very susceptible to flattery. A few levels below, Whirlpool was reading a scroll, happy to have survived and happier to still be of high standing.

One of the queen's mindless minions landed. The messenger said, "Whirlpool, Queen Coral wants to see you. She said 'as soon as you are finished with that chapter.'" Whirlpool spent about five more minutes reading, and then rolled up the scroll.

Queen Coral sat imperiously. She brightened at Whirlpool. "Hello, Whirlpool," she said. "I just finished talking about something very important with Tsunami! It's something you'll be very interested in!"

Whirlpool idly wondered, Her marriage to that pathetic Riptide? That would be a relief. Then Coral would finally stop trying to make me fall in love with her. He asked, "And that would be?"

Coral answered, "Her and your marriage, of course! What else but that?"

Whirlpool sighed deeply. Finally, this whole nightmare will be over. Wait... why did she use the singular tense?! She probably just misspoke. After all, who wouldn't be happy now I'm going to marry Auklet? He hid his confusion as he said, "Ah, of course. She's marrying Riptide, yes?"

Coral gasped, shocked. "Of course not! I won't have my little princess run off with some Talon's spawn! She's marrying you, a responsible, handsome, charming, brilliant, wonderful, noble, and attractive dragon!"

Whirlpool felt a wave of pride run through him. I knew I'm not delusional when I say I'm handsome! Tsunami is just too overwhelmed by my sheer charisma she can't handle it and denies all of my charm. This proves it! But... now I have to marry her. Great. Well, I'll be king, but it's not that much of a prize if I have to get married to her. He flattered, "I am very proud to marry your wonderful, kind, sweet, beautiful daughter. Thank you, Your Majesty."

Coral's eyes misted over. "I'm so proud of both of you. I know how much you love each other, and now you can finally be together. I don't know why you thought you couldn't get married, but it's all better now."

Whirlpool gulped, offset by her delusion. "Um... yes... thank you, Your Majesty." He bowed again.

Coral said, "That is all, Whirlpool. You know, you remind me so much of Gill, and Tsunami reminds me of myself. You two were meant to be. I am so happy for you."

Whirlpool bowed once more, and flew off.




Whirlpool was annoyed. He was now betrothed to the most annoying, foolhardy, defiant, rude, and uncouth dragon in the kingdom. As if that were not enough, he had to kiss her and everything. He could think of no dragon he would less want to marry, not even some of the foreign queens. He told the tailor, "Please take care to include the thicker neck ring. It's mandated for any aristocratic groom who doesn't want to be laughed out of the kingdom."

The tailor said, "Of course not, sir. I am not some common seamster! I have spent my life in this business, and I am no fool!" He strapped on another layer of chain mail. It hugged his chest tight. "Of course, we need some plates too. It wouldn't be a proper suit without them!"

Whirlpool enjoyed someone agreeing that he was very important as much as the next dragon, but even this was starting to get somewhat tedious. After about half an hour, the tailor said, "There. This should accent your handsome snout and your bright glowing scales."

Whirlpool, smiling, said, "Indeed it should." This was almost good enough an outfit to make him not mind marrying Tsunami.

Almost.




Whirlpool strutted down the aisle, his years of planning finally coming to fruition. He would marry a princess and fulfill his lifelong goals. Tsunami also walked down the aisle, but she seemed to move with much more apprehension. He had to admit, however, she did look quite beautiful. He flashed her a synthetic smile, confused as to why she looked upset. Many dragons would die to marry him!




One of the Council dragon asked, "Tsunami, do you take Whirlpool to be your lawfully wedded husband, to guard him against enemies, to care for him in times good and bad, and to love him forever?"

Tsunami looked like a fish spotted by a SeaWing. She frantically looked all over the room, for some reason apparently very uncomfortable. She said, as though her teeth were being pulled out, "I do."

A different Council dragon asked, "Whirlpool, do you take Tsunami to be your lawfully wedded wife, to try to aid her, to remain loyal in the face of insurrections and treason, and to to love her forever?"

Whirlpool realized this was it. If he said no, he could perhaps marry a more suitable daughter. On the other claw, he would probably lose his chance to become king, as neither Auklet nor Anemone wanted the throne. He said, barely able to force it out of himself, "I do."

A third Council dragon said, "Then if there are any with objections to this marriage, voice them now."

Whirlpool worried frantically that the dragonets of destiny would voice objections, but they seemed only resigned to Tsunami's marriage.

The council conferred with each other and Coral, and Coral said, "Then, with the power of a Queen, I declare you to be dragoness and dragon. You may now kiss the male."

Whirlpool barely stopped himself from screaming. Tsunami brushed her snout against his. He could feel her disgust, but he knew neither of them could do anything about it.

Coral flew over, and, apparently unconcerned as to what her assembled subjects would think, grasped the areas just under their horns. She forced their snouts together again, and held them tight. Whirlpool's eyes widened as he felt his breathing disrupted by the shock from the chemicals released in his brain.

But all of that Whirlpool could, at least barely, handle.

The part he couldn't handle was, in spite of everything he thought about Tsunami, he was enjoying it.

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